“Philly, forget me not, forget me not, forget me not” – Daryl Hall & John Oates
Today’s song choice seemed oh so phitting, because Philly I will not forget you no matter how much I’d like to.
More specifically, Philly airport, I will forget you not. I will not forget the three hour delay that began in Raleigh, North Carolina that led to me sprinting down two of your Philly terminals only to miss my 10:35 pm international connecting flight by just minutes. No Philly, I won’t forget losing my phone in the airport amidst the chaos, confusion, and my distractedness of nearly collapsing from a case of asthma induced physical exertion apparently referred to as “exercise-induced bronchoconstriction (EIB)” (self-diagnosis). Sorry Philly, my lack of poor physical conditioning is not a direct reflection on you though in my current state of mental and physical exhaustion, yeah screw it, that’s your fault too.
“Oh and when the hands hit eleven Pennsylvania came to life”
I won’t forget finding an officer who used his phone to call the airport Marriott at well past 11 (closer to midnight) to see if they had any availability. Thankfully the Marriott had a room, which I of course paid nearly $300 for a sleepless night of anxiety, frustration, and coughing (apparently EIB can linger for hours afterwards). There’s a bill to reimburse coming your way, American Airlines, and a reckoning for your delayed flight which resulted in one less less vacation day for me in Amsterdam. You owe me.
But Philly, I also won’t forget my biggest hero – Paula, supervisor of the American Airlines baggage claim office who personally tracked down my lost iPhone after five hours spent the next morning of “we can’t find it.” Thankfully I had my MacBook Air so I was able to show her that it was still in Terminal A with the help of the find my iPhone app. When she personally went to Terminal A and found it shortly after 1 pm, it had apparently not been placed in the “correct” lost and found lock box. “You got lucky,” she said. Yes I did. Lucky for connecting with you. Thank God for Philly Paula, my phucking hero. An A plus for you Paula. A big, fat F minus for you American Airlines for not one, but two different flight delays so far. We’ll see how it goes over the next several days. Maybe you can get your grade up to a D or maybe I’ll just never fly American Airlines again.
Nope, Philly, can’t, won’t forget you. Now, for the love of God, Philly – get me out of here.
“Philly, I would never change on ya You ain’t always sunny, honey But you love me back”
I’m staring out a Philly airport window as I write this, and yep you guessed it – cloudy and rainy. One thing I do actually love is Philly’s own Hall & Oates having seen them in concert in Tulsa in 2017. They actually released this pleasant single, performed with the band Train, in 2018.
It hit #12 on the AC charts. Here is Daryl Hall & John Oates alongside Train’s Patrick Monahan with a live version of “Philly, Forget Me Not”
Thanks for reading my rant, and may any of your upcoming air travels be much smoother.
“You’ll see the Son appear to light the way.” – Nelson
I’m a sucker for any father-son story. It can be real or made up. It might be your own personal story you’ve poured out on your blog about an absent father that you never really knew, or maybe it was a demanding father who settled for nothing short of perfection when all you needed to know was that he loved you and was proud of you. I love a good fictional story that might revolve around a strained relationship on a basketball court like Jake and Jesus Shuttlesworth or maybe it’s a complex story of a child raised by his uncle in a galaxy far, far away. Maybe it’s just a cartoon father and son lion story told over an Elton John soundtrack, or two brothers and a Presbyterian minister father silently fly-fishing in a Montana river. The various father-son plot lines are as old as time and I think it demonstrates the pull, the power of a story, and ultimately the uniqueness and complexity that surrounds every father-son relationship good or bad.
I took a slight liberty with the quoted lyrics at the top of the post since Nelsons’ lyrics actually read “sun,” not “son,” but it seemed more fitting to this post, because the greatest father-son story in history centers around a 33 year old Jewish son who was brutally abused and crucified on a wooden cross some 2000+ years ago, but still represents the most unique and only perfect father-son relationship ever. And yes, I did just hit you with two Jesuses in one post. You’re welcome.
But I’m also going to hit you with some Oklahoma Sooners basketball. When Tommy Tubbs, son of the late, great Coach Billy Tubbs, called me the week before last and invited me to represent my dad and my family at a special weekend of events honoring his dad at the University of Oklahoma, I couldn’t have accepted any quicker. I was honored to stand in for my dad who passed away in August of 2021 (approximately nine months after Coach Tubbs) for such a special occasion as this. Old players, coaches, and supporters of the University of Oklahoma during Coach Tubbs tenure from 1980-1994 returned as well to show their love and appreciation for Coach Tubbs and the Tubbs family.
I wrote many of my thoughts and feelings and stories back in November of 2020 shortly after Coach Tubbs passed away. His son Tommy spent two seasons playing for his dad at OU including my dad’s first season as an assistant coach in 1984-85. It was a year that OU made the elite eight and was one shot short of advancing to the Final Four losing to Memphis State in Dallas that year. My dad went on to spend six dominant seasons as an assistant coach at OU for Coach Tubbs including the magical run to the national championship game in 1988. During those six years, I was a teenager and I was in awe of it all. And mostly because it was as close as I was ever going to get to hanging around a rock n’ roll band and production. Instead of David, Eddie, Alex, and Michael, I had Wayman, Boo, Choo, T-Mac, DJ, Dave, Stacey, Mookie, Amazing Grace, Harvey, and Skeeter. Longtime legendary writer Barry Trammel posted a recent article about those days and is worth a few minutes of your time if you want to understand what OU basketball was like particularly in the mid to late 80’s and early 90’s.
Fast forward to 2024 and it’s been just over three years since Coach Tubbs’ passing, and the University was preparing to honor Coach Tubbs and the Tubbs family for their time in Norman and ultimately as the winningest coach in Oklahoma Sooner basketball history. Commemorative posters were made, “Billyball” t-shirts were sold, special Converse shoes were custom made and given to the family, and a Tubbs banner was unfurled and now hangs forever in the southeast corner of the Lloyd Noble Center.
The Tubbs banner now hangs in the Lloyd Noble Center
Coach Tubbs at his introductory press conference in 1980
Coach Tubbs’ wife, Pat in the center with son Tommy (left in red sweater), Tommy’s wife Ann (black jacket and jeans), and daughter Taylor (right in white top and black pants)
It was a wonderful event that allowed me to bask in and walk alongside my dad’s spirit for a few hours reminiscing about all the times he had walked these same halls and onto this very court at the Lloyd Noble Center. I got “all the feels,” my eyes welled with tears on more than one occasion that weekend, and I got to do it all alongside another man missing and thinking and honoring his dad. Grab a Kleenex, and check out this special video that was made and aired on the jumbotron at halftime of the basketball game. A love letter. A love letter about fathers and sons…
“Whoa, after the rain washes away the tears and all the pain Only after the rain can you live again”
By all accounts the band Nelson, which consisted of blonde-headed twin brothers Gunnar and Matthew Nelson had a good relationship with a supportive famous father, but they didn’t fall into money upon Ricky’s passing when he suddenly perished in a plane crash on New Year’s eve, 1985.
According to Matthew, when their dad died, he was $4 million in debt from years of a dysfunctional marriage, over-spending, and a costly divorce. The brothers were just 18 at the time and spent many of their younger years paying that debt back. I found this quote from an article just within the past few years: “I found out about the accident (plane crash) on the radio,” says Matthew, as his brother sits beside him noticeably tearing up. This interview would have been some 35 years or more since the plane crash and Gunnar is “noticeably tearing up” according to the interviewer. Fathers and sons still feeling the emotions of it all. That, along with the fact that they both found out through the media, made the brothers bitter towards the media going forward.
“Don’t be afraid to lose what was never meant to be.”
Unfortunately Ricky wasn’t around to see his sons storm the rock world in 1990 with a double platinum (how fitting) album and a #1 single “(Can’t Live Without) Your Love and Affection.” The Nelsons are the only family to have number one hits in three successive generations beginning with grandparents, Ozzie and Harriet (“And Then Some” in 1935). Ricky Nelson had his first #1 hit in 1958 with the single “Poor Little Fool.” He married the boys’ mother, actress Kristin Nelson (sister of actor Mark Harmon), in 1963, but by the brothers own account, was not a supportive mother discouraging their musical ambitions.
Today’s video actually begins with a stereotypical poor father-son relationship as was commonly portrayed in the 80’s and early 90’s, but with the magical help of a Native American spiritual guide and also the brothers Nelson, our teenage protagonist is encouraged and resolved once he awakens from his dream… or was it a dream? Released in 1990 (but feeling very much like an 80’s song), and peaking at #6 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100, it is a good reminder and my personal favorite Nelson song – “After the Rain.”
Thanks for reading, and remember that brighter days are ahead.
“Thegreater my wisdom, the greater my grief.To increase knowledge only increasessorrow.” – King Solomon; Ecclesiastes 1:18
“From loss comes sorrow. From sorrow comes words, and here they come” – me
I have had the privilege of calling three women “mom” at one point or another throughout my life. A biological mom, obviously, who is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and of whom I’ve written about numerous times before on this site. The other two “moms” each left their earthly bodies recently within 18 days of each other. One, whom I have called my “second mom” since I became best friends with her middle son, Barry, back in 1984 in Norman, Oklahoma, and the other I’ve had pleasure of being my mother-in-law since marrying one of her daughters in 1999.
My second mom had beaten down cancer numerous times through the years much like her beloved OU Sooners football and basketball teams of the 70’s and 80’s did to their opponents. She passed at the age of 81, but Cindy Blanton was a fierce competitor, a lifelong Sooner, an educator, a coach, and of course a devoted mother and grandmother. She readily accepted me into the family in 1984 and soon thereafter I began referring to myself as her “#1 son.” I felt like those times when she was at odds with one or multiple sons allowed me to remind her that that was why I was the #1 son. She drove Barry and I to ball practices and games. She allowed me to stay over and stay up late watching all kinds of ridiculous movies back in high school. Years later when I was out of college and broke, she allowed me to stay at her house for months for free until I could afford to move out. We spent many an evening routinely watching a lot of football and basketball on tv.
My wife and I were fortunate enough to spend a few weekends and some time with her this past year catching up and reliving memories and stories. I will miss my second mom and her stories and tales of her family and friends, but I will keep her memory alive through my daily “Connections” game which she is responsible for my addiction to, and I’ll think about her every time I see a beautiful American Goldfinch fluttering around in my backyard (her favorite).
I will always remember my mother-in-law, Doris Rycroft, as a kind and caring soul. A fancy dresser with an unmistakable drawl I never tired of every time she saw me and said “Hi Kyle,” but it sounded more like “Ha Cal.” She was in her early 60’s when I met her and I marveled at her perception, her insight, and her knowledge. She was an author, a friend, a prayer warrior, a mother, and a beautiful soul before passing at the age of 90. She had struggled her final few years particularly since the passing of her beloved husband and my father-in-law, Haskell, in 2020, but it makes me smile to think she has now rejoined his side in a place she so confidently knew she was headed to. One day I’ll see her again and I’ll be expecting that sweet smile and that familiar drawl when she welcomes me and says “Ha Cal.”
And so it happens that this Saturday, February 10th is the day that both memorial services will be held at 10am and 2pm in Moore and just a few miles south in Norman, respectively. It will be a hard day, but a day to enjoy family and friends and to serve the memories of our loved ones well. How selfishly fortunate I am to have had each of them in my life.
But still…
I’m going to miss those smiles I’m going to miss you my moms
Ironically, funeral arrangements are also being made and projected to happen in mid-February for one of Oklahoma’s great country artists, Toby Keith, who passed away at the age of 62 after a battle with stomach cancer.
I love this particular Keith song from 2009 which peaked at #6 on the Hot Country singles. It was written as a tribute to his friend, another Oklahoma legend – former OU Sooner basketball All American and jazz musician, Tulsa’s Wayman Tisdale. But the lyrics to this song are very apropos to any situation where you’ve lost a loved family member or friend. Owner of 42 top 10 hits and 32 #1 hits, give Toby a few minutes and listen to “Cryin’ For Me (Wayman’s Song),” and reflect (perhaps even a red solo cup toast may be appropriate) upon those loved ones you’ve lost whether they be moms, dads, brothers, sisters, or close friends.
R.I.P. moms and R.I.P. Toby. Thanks for reading.
sincerely,
the80’s
My mom and dad (a former OU Sooners basketball coach) many years ago with OU fan Toby Keith and his wife of 40 years, Tricia.
I heeded my call to watch “The Greatest Night in Pop” this week newly released on Netflix, because of course I would, and plus I was fascinated. Fascinated by the original footage. Fascinated by the logistics (pre-cell phone after all). Fascinated by the old soundbites from the artists, and the new interviews with Lionel, Huey, Cyndi, Bruce, and Kenny (Loggins). I would have loved more of this particularly if they could have lined up some of the others with memories from that night like Steve Perry, Billy Joel, Hall & Oates, and/or even Willie Nelson or Paul Simon to add their perspectives.
I was an 8th grader on the verge of 14 years of age when the song and video were released in March of 1985. I didn’t know anything about famine in Africa. I barely knew where Africa was on my world globe that spun in circles and sat neatly on the corner of my desk in my bedroom in Norman, Oklahoma. All I knew of world starvation I had learned from the numerous Sally Struthers commercials that would come on my little television late at night interrupting whatever show I was intently tuned into for the next several minutes. If I recall though, 17 cents a month would feed 1,000 children for 2 years*
(* numbers were not verified and may not be 100% accurate)
Of course a few months earlier in December of 1984, a group of famous musicians from across the pond had formed Band-Aid and released “Do They Know Its Christmas (Feed the World)?,” which in turn inspired Harry Belafonte to want to do the same in America with the best the U.S. had to offer in talent. He reached out to Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson to write a song, which got the ball rolling on what was to become USA For Africa.
In the documentary, you get to see Paul Simon digging on John Denver, and Waylon Jennings walking out (yes, Waylon was there). There was an impromptu autograph session, and there was Al Jarreau (and his bottles of wine) starting a serenade of Harry Belafonte with Harry’s signature song “Day-O.” You get to see poor Bob Dylan looking totally lost and out of place until Stevie Wonder hilariously comes to his rescue, and we also get to see Quincy Jones scolding Lionel Richie and Stevie like school kids for not focusing. There is all of the anxiety and pressures that go along with the solo performances (Huey Lewis admits his nerves) and all confined to one space and one very specific timeframe. Why wasn’t Prince there (they saved a line for him) and what about Madonna? All good questions. All answered in this 96 minute documentary that features some very tender moments as well including at the end of the all-night session when they focus on Diana Ross who was the last artist to leave the studio, and then another nostalgic moment when Lionel reminisces about “his house.”
If you like documentaries and you like 80’s pop music and everything that goes along with those two things, then check your ego at the door and give a watch to “The Greatest Night in Pop.”
“We’re all a part of God’s great big family And the truth, you know, love is all we need.”
If you’d like a refresher on the song and video, then here you go. It topped music charts throughout the world and became the fastest-selling U.S. pop single in history. Written by Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson (where were you Stevie???), “We Are the World” won four Grammy Awards, one AMA and received a Quadruple Platinum certification becoming the first single to be certified multi-platinum.
If you bought the single back in 1985 or anytime since then or donated money to the organization, then thank you for trying to be part of a solution to ending hunger in Africa, which has apparently eclipsed $100MM in donations since 1985.
Shortly after arriving at a local lake walking trail near my home early on the 35 degree morning of January 1st, a flash of blue crossed my path at about eye level and caused me to stop. The flash slowed to a still as it landed gracefully upon a fence wire about 10 yards in front of me. It was an Eastern Bluebird. It looked at me, and I at him, in an inquisitive stare-down. The beautiful Eastern Bluebird officially became my first bird sighting in 2024.
PHOTOGRAPH BY STEVEBYLAND, DREAMSTIME.COM
The bluebird is thought to be a symbol of joy and hope while others presume that good news will be arriving soon. And still, there are others who think that bluebirds represent a connection between the living and those who have passed away. Some Native American tribes also associate bluebirds with prosperity and even fertility. I like all of the symbolism and feelings that are associated with the bluebird, and I can easily see how these comforting thoughts are completely applicable to a pretty bird who possesses a pretty song.
And speaking of song (segue alert), there have been numerous ones referencing the bluebird through the years. For many of us, one only need to start singing “Mister Bluebirds on my shoulder…” and wait til another finishes with “It’s the truth. It’s actual. Everything is satisfactual.” Those lyrics of course are from the Academy Award-winning song “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah” as sung by James Baskett from the 1946 Disney film “Song of the South.” Or how about “Somewhere over the rainbow… bluebirds fly.” Those with even the faintest knowledge of “The Wizard of Oz” will know that one.
There are numerous songs featuring the bluebird – “Bluebird” by Buffalo Springfield, “Bluebird” by ELO, “Bluebirds Over The Mountain” by The Beach Boys, and even “Bluebird Wine” by Rodney Crowell (covered later by Emmylou Harris) just to name a few. But, if you’re like most of the Bluebird song experts (should a group actually exist somewhere), you probably think of the two most popular titled Bluebird songs – the early 1970’s “Bluebird” love song written by Paul and Linda McCartney performed by Wings from their “Band on the Run” album, and the more recent 2019 #1 country hit “Bluebird” by Miranda Lambert from her album “Wildcard.”
“If you were a bluebird, you’d be crying You’d be flying home”
This “bluebird” song was originally released in 1977 by someone I was not very familiar with – Joe Ely and his band called The Flatlanders. I chose the song, one because I really like it, and secondly because it probably gets overlooked in the very specific genre of bluebird music should you ever choose to traverse into that rabbit-hole, of which I obviously have. (And forewarning, I have a birdwatching Spotify playlist that I will gladly share or discuss with you ad nauseam should you ever be in need of such a specific genre of music!)
At first listen, today’s song “If You Were a Bluebird” is one of many traditional sad country tales of broken beautifulness, but I find that the final few lyrics in this song are those dreaming of a better tomorrow and a more hopeful future. And isn’t that what the bluebird is supposed to represent?
I think so.
“If I was a highway, I’d be stretching I’d be fetching you home”
This tv appearance is from sometime in the early 90’s, but reunites the Lubbock, Texas trio known as The Flatlanders – Joe Ely (vocals, guitar, black vest), Jimmy Dale Gilmore (vocals, guitar, black long sleeve), and Butch Hancock (vocals, harmonica, black suit jacket) singing “If You Were a Bluebird”…
If Emmylou Harris is more your speed, she does a wonderful rendition of the same song from her 1989 album appropriately titled “Bluebird.”
And if you just need more inspirational bluebird in your life, here is Miranda Lambert’s video for “Bluebird.” As a sidenote, one of Lambert’s personal favorites is Emmylou Harris. Emmylou has a song from 1978 titled “Easy From Now On” which provided the inspiration for Miranda’s tattoo (you can see in the video), and the line from “Bluebird” where she sings “I’ve got a wildcard up my sleeve.” Just another example of one of many things you can learn from a journey into that bluebird internet rabbit hole.
May your 2024 be full of hope, prosperity and possibilities, and may someone fetch you home if you need it. And of course, may bluebirds cross your path from time to time and remind you of good times spent with loved ones who have passed, or maybe just inspire you to dream of a better tomorrow.
“Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on” – George Michael / Wham!
I will not apologize for the following post despite your eyerolls and the potential disdain you might personally harbor for this song! I will snowball fight you and your soul of ice to the death in defense of this holiday classic! If you participate in “Whamageddon” this time of year, let me tempt you to opt out early (and yes if you’re unfamiliar, “Whamageddon” is a real thing dating back 18 years). “It’s just a funny little thing that a couple of idiots from Denmark did to entertain themselves during Christmas,” one of the founders, Thomas Mertz, told The New York Times.
I posted this video and song back in 2016 shortly before George Michael passed away on Christmas day of the same year. He was only 53. The popularity of this song has endured and even grown in the digital age with its’ hundreds, thousands, (millions?) of covers, and I have listened to my fair share of them. There’s a Trap Remix, a folk style version, an instrumental, and obviously many pop versions. The pop queens in particular especially like it – Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Arianna Grande, Meghan Trainor, Carly Rae Jepson…oh, and Ashley Tisdale anyone? So I think it’s fitting to bring this song up again given that George was posthumously inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame a little over a month ago.
Before we get to the song, rewind to just a few nights ago as I was scrolling through Christmas movies on our various streaming platforms… Netflix, Apple, Max, and finally Prime when I came across a 2019 film appropriately titled “Last Christmas.” While it probably didn’t win any Oscars (I only say probably, because who knows with those wonky Oscar voters), my wife and I were pleasantly surprised with it, and will happily endorse it despite its’ flaws. First of all, a George Michael soundtrack (not just “Last Christmas”) accompanies this movie. Secondly, you get some pretty likable leads in Emilia Clarke (“Game of Thrones”) and Henry Golding (“Crazy Rich Asians”). You get a dash of a funny Emma Thompson (who also co-wrote the story with her husband, Greg Wise). And of course, you get some heartfelt moments and a twist that made this a very worthy addition to our annual fest of holiday movie-watching at our household.
The trailer is below, but honestly it will just spoil most of the movie for you. If you’re like my wife and I and enjoy watching all sorts of Christmas movies this time of year, just do yourself a favor and skip the trailer, suspend the believability (which you should be doing this time of year anyway), and you’ll be more apt to enjoy this George Michael soundtrack movie for what it is – a cheeky bit of heartfelt fun.
“Once bitten and twice shy I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye”
And finally, you didn’t think I was going to end this post without the song did you? I told you, I will always take any liberty I can to promote “Last Christmas.” If it’s been a year (it doesn’t surprise me) or longer since you’ve seen this 80’s masterpiece of music videology then I encourage you to waste, I mean enrich your Christmas 2023 life for the next four minutes and 38 seconds.
The video was filmed over five days in Switzerland in the winter of 1984 in and around a house with no heat. It was model Kathy Hill who recalled how cold the house was and she was the one that got to wear the bright colors and stand out as the villainous ice queen who broke George’s heart a year ealier. She was interviewed several years ago about her memories from the filming including the scene where she and George play about in the snow. She said: “We had to walk up a hill about five times. George slipped down every time. Once he ended up sitting on me, laughing – and that’s the bit they used. It was completely natural. We were just laughing our heads off. He couldn’t stand up. It’s my favourite scene.”
When former Wham! bandmate Andrew Ridgeley was asked about the song itself recently, he recounted that “The first time I ever heard it, it was absolutely knockout,” he says. “It sounded for all the world like a Christmas classic,” and added “It’s Christmas distilled if you ask me. It’s the essence of Christmas.”
Please enjoy “the essence of Christmas” with the original “Last Christmas”…
Video commentary: Are we expected to believe that Kathy preferred Andrew to George and his soulful voice and perfectly coiffed blond hair? Did you do something George and refuse to take responsibility? Why do they all have to climb over a fence coming and going like a bunch of school kids trespassing to get to their house? Where’s the driveway or path to the front door? Was this just a poorly designed secluded cabin? And did she possibly re-gift the brooch that George gave her to her new beau, Andrew, who is shown wearing it in the present day? What an ice queen! The video also features Wham’s backup singer duo – Helen “Pepsi” DeMacque and Shirlie Holliman who later formed their own group appropriately called Pepsi and Shirlie.
The young man standing directly in front of me seemed to appear magically out of thin air. No, not Andrew Gold, but a brown-haired, glasses-wearing twenty-something in khakis and a dress shirt. I hadn’t noticed this ninja-in-training who had been lurking in the corner to my left as I had entered the nursing home where my mom lives. He obviously had been biding his time waiting for the right unsuspecting target to walk through the door. Instinctually, I had ventured to the right towards the sign-in log and had noticed it was a mandatory mask-wearing day. So, as I was putting on my mask and turning to go see my mom, he was just there blocking my path, looking directly into my startled eyes.
“We’re asking everyone what they’re thankful for,” he said holding his clipboard and pen at the ready. “Do you have anything you’re thankful for that we can add to our survey?”
My initial thought was “Yeah, I’m thankful you weren’t a hired hitman here to take me out.”
Truth be told though, I thought “Dude, I’m in a nursing home where no one wants to be probably including you, and most of these residents are sadly living out the final days of their lives. Thankful? Hardly.”
It was a narrow-minded, selfish thought, I’ll admit, but a very real thought that visits my mind every time I step foot inside the same facility that held the sad final few months of my dad’s life in the summer of 2021. But instead of relaying any of this to him, which undoubtedly would have created an awkward moment for us, I forced a smile and simply answered with the always popular cliché “family.” A cliche, but a true statement as well, and also one that seemed to satisfy the young man as he noted my response on his clipboard and went back to his camouflaged blind in the corner. I soldiered on into the dining area to meet mom for a Thanksgiving luncheon sitting at a table with her amongst a full house of visitors and residents already putting dents into their pre-Thanksgiving turkey dinners.
Later as I reflected on the interaction I thought that maybe this young man’s presence and his specific question were an intentional and purposeful plan set in place by the nursing home to help shift the focus for most people entering that day. If so, kudos to the nursing home for at least attempting to shift the narrative in many minds on the day before Thanksgiving in a facility no one wants to be in. And maybe that is what was needed.
When it comes to the chaos, the uncertainty, the times of hopelessness and confusion in our lives, there can be periods and stretches of unthankfulness. Sure we inherently know and many of us are taught that we should be thankful for friends and employment and health and our family, but if we’re being honest there are many times we are not thankful for some or parts of those complicated pieces of our lives. Difficult family relationships, hurtful friendships, and economic hardships are all ships of unthankfulness we don’t particularly want to sail on, but end up on anyway at times, because, well, life.
So if you’re having trouble finding the big items to be thankful for in your life this weekend, maybe just focus on (or stumble upon or into) the unintentional small things that you might not even notice consciously until later that can cause the momentary shifts, the temporary distractions, the change in narrative that you may need at any given moment. Those times where an exciting football game bonds you with others, or when you’ve completed that impossible 5000-piece puzzle, or maybe you just won the longest game of Catan in Catan history. Maybe it’s something as simple as when a gravel road turns into pavement or you spot a Northern Flicker in your tree for the first time, or you complete a long overdue post for your blog. And yes, maybe it’s those times when you’re feeling low and a twenty-something stranger appears out of nowhere and asks you a simple question.
What are you thankful for?
And when we both get older With walking canes and hair of gray Have no fear, even though it’s hard to hear I will stand real close and say
I’d never seen a video for this song until today nor did I realize it was a song actually released in 1978 by a man named Andrew Gold. Gold was part of the soft pop movement of the ’70s, and best I can tell, carved out a nice career in the music industry before succumbing to heart failure in 2011 at the age of 59. He collaborated with the likes of Linda Ronstadt, Art Garfunkel, and Eric Carmen, to name just a few, and left us with a few solo hits, including “Lonely Boy” (1977), “Never Let Her Slip Away” (1978), and of course, this one that hit #25 on the U.S. Top 100 in 1978. It also received a resurgence in the ’80s with the hit sitcom “The Golden Girls.”
A big thank you to all of you reading this blog and of course my friends, and yes a thank you to my family. And a thank you to Andrew for writing this little ditty that took him “about an hour to write.” It may have been written in 1978, but its’ popularity surely peaked every Saturday night from 1985 to 1992 when “The Golden Girls” sitcom played on NBC and a remake of the song by Cynthia Fee was used in the opening credits. I find it fitting that his last name is Gold, and a fitting song for this weekend, here is Andrew Gold’s “Thank You For Being a Friend”…
Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!
sincerely,
the80’s
The Golden Girls (L-R) Rue McClanahan (1934-2010), Bea Arthur (1922-2009), Betty White (1922-2021), and Estelle Getty (1923-2008).
“And all heads turned cause she was the dream.” – Billy Ocean
Every now and then, a “deal” comes along where you say to yourself “Self, I’d pay (x) amount to go see (fill in the blank), because how many more chances will I have?” and that’s exactly how last Friday night at the Skyline Event Center in Tulsa came about. In February, for $45 each, I bought two tickets for my wife and I on the fifth row to see one Mr. Leslie Sebastian Charles, stage name Billy Ocean. The original performance date was for April, but he had to postpone that show and rescheduled for this past Friday.
At 73 years old, Billy Ocean seems to be well above average in physical condition and still has a nice sound and tone to his voice. He graciously interacted with the crowd and all of the ridiculous “let me get a selfie with Billy” amateur photographers in attendance. I was starting to get a little annoyed with all of the people walking up to the stage and attempting to get selfies with Billy, but he graciously played along with that genuine smile on his face all night long as he peppered the audience with all of his big hits and a total of 14 songs over 90+ minutes.
Seemingly so smooth and so cool, Billy had already established himself as a singer and performer with a few minor hits in his native England prior to 1984 dating back to his first hit, a #2 hit in 1976 called “Love Really Hurts Without You.” Like many growing up in the 80’s, my first exposure to Billy was “Caribbean Queen,” a quintessential up-tempo 80’s hit that I absolutely loved and still do to this day. Billy was already a music industry veteran in 1984 at the age of 34 years when he hit it big in the U.S. with today’s featured video and song.
“I was in search of a good time Just running my game Love was the furthest Furthest from my mind.”
Born in Trinidad and Tobago, Billy moved to England when he was 10 and in 2020 was made a member of the MBE (Most Excellent Order of the British Empire) for his contributions to the arts and sciences, work with charitable and welfare organizations, and public service outside the civil service. The MBE was established on 4 June 1917 by King George V.
He has seven top 10 singles in the U.S. which includes three #1 hits with today’s video being his first and arguably his biggest. A number one hit in August of 1984 that won Billy a Grammy, it was the song that really broke open Billy’s career, and is personally one of my favorite songs from the decade of the 80’s. Here is the video for the once-titled “European Queen,” changed to “Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run)”…
Here is some present-day Billy for those of you interested in how he and his voice have aged. This is my video shot at the Skyline Event Center at the Osage Casino in Tulsa. Still so cool and so smooth, this is one of my favorite 80’s ballads, another number one hit for Billy which came about in July of 1986 – “There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)”… and btw, that’s Billy’s daughter on the far left of the backup singers…
Thanks for checking in and thanks for reading, and keep on going Billy!
“If I knew I might toss out my anchor.” – Jimmy Buffett
No truer words were ever spoken by one James William Buffett, He was born in Pascagoula, Mississippi, on December 25, 1946 and became a Christmas gift that just kept giving. Whatever you thought about his “island escapism” lifestyle, his business empire, or his mellow tropical rock catalog of never ending songs about beaches, boats, bars or ballads, Jimmy Buffett lived a fascinating life that captured the hearts and imaginations of thousands through his words and music.
Like many Gen Xers, my first Buffett cd was “Songs You Should Know By Heart,” a collection of songs featuring his biggest hit “Margaritaville.” What I quickly learned though was that Jimmy was a nautical poet more than just the sum of a song about tequila, triple sec, and lime juice. He could tap into your inner explorer and plant adventurous fantasies within your mind.
We had parties in college (in Oklahoma) where “Margaritaville” was a staple and usually played late into the night where some 20 or 30 half baked students would sing along at the top of their lungs… “but I know… it’s my own damn fault!” I subscribed to the official Jimmy Buffett “Coconut Telegraph Newsletter” for a few years in the 90’s when I was finishing college. The newsletter would have stories and concert dates and merch to buy, but like most print media, went the way of the dinosaur as the internet grew and took away the need for such paper escapism.
It was also during those final few college summers where I would spend many long, hot summer days painting houses in Illinois for a local real estate agent. Many times when I just wasn’t feeling like Pearl Jam or Nirvana or Boys II Men, I would have Jimmy Buffett playing on my personal cd player (Discman) instead where I would dream of being on a beach or at an island bar with nary a care in the world. I had scraped together enough painting money to buy his four cd box set entitled “Boats, Beaches, Bars, and Ballads” which provided a colorful book, 72 songs, and hours of extending listening that went far beyond his “Songs You Should Know By Heart.” There may have even been a day or two where I enjoyed a few cold ones while painting with Jimmy singing into my ears about planes and volcanos and pretty women. I still have this boxset, but now just find it more convenient to pull up on Spotify.
Jimmy took his world and he put it into music (and a few books), and made a lifestyle that many dreamed about but few have been fortunate to imitate. If anyone lived a finer tropical rock and roll lifestyle than Mr. Buffett, I’d surely be interested to know.
“So I cruise along always searchin’ for songs Not a lawyer a thief or a banker”
Hey, hey, hey now Jimmy. C’mon now. There’s nothing wrong with some bankers! No need to include us with lawyers and thieves! This is one of my favorite pre-80’s lyrics just because you can’t find too many songs where the singer includes a banker.
I still believe this son of a son of a sailor is cruising along somewhere still searching for songs and entertaining his legions of “Parrotheads” in another realm. I loved what his sister, Lucy “Lulu” Buffett revealed about her last words with her brother when it became clear that the Merkel cell carcinoma Jimmy had been fighting for years was finally closing in – “He didn’t care about resting in peace. The last words he whispered to me were, “Have fun.””
Whether you enjoy his music or not, we should all desire some Jimmy in our lives, and we should all heed his words, and just have fun.
I’m no expert on the extensive collection of Jimmy Buffett songs, but if I had to give someone five songs (aside from “Margaritaville”) then I would certainly endorse these popular ones:
“Come Monday”
“A Pirate Looks at Forty”
“He Went to Paris”
“Havanna Daydreamin'”
“The Captain and the Kid”
Now away in the near future Southeast of disorder You can shake the hand of the mango man As he greets you at the border
Along with the mango man, I’m sure Jimmy’s grandfather, James, who was a steamship captain, and his father, James Jr., who was a marine engineer and sailor are meeting Jimmy at the great border in the sky. Here is the man that brought so much joy and fun and light to our world singing one of my favorites of his, this 1978 classic “Son of a Son of a Sailor“…
Enjoy the light, Jimmy, and soak in another amazing view maybe with a cheeseburger in one hand. I know you will.
Thanks for reading and go have fun today.
sincerely,
the 80’s
“So when the journey gets long, just know that you are loved. There is light up above. And joy, there is always enough. Bubbles up.” – Jimmy Buffett
Bonus: “Bubbles Up” is a life metaphor and song inspired by a diving phrase or advice given to sailors and others if they ever find themselves unexpectedly thrown into the water and confused by which way is up. Follow the bubbles. They will lead you to safety. Co-written by singer-songwriter and guitarist Will Kimbrough, enjoy the first single from Jimmy’s final album he recorded before his death set to release in November…
“Should you ever need a thing, it won’t be hard to find me.” – Turnpike Troubadours
Photo by ROGELIO ESPARZA FOR ROLLING STONE (L-R) Hank Early, Evan Felker, Kyle Nix, Ryan Engleman, Gabe Pearson, and RC Edwards
A happy Labor Day weekend to you!
This non-80’s song has been spinning loops in my mind at various times since it was released in early August. My wife can attest. So, on this weekend, let me pay tribute to the workers of The Turnpike Troubadours’ construction company, who have bore an invisible musical pipeline directly to my frontal lobes, turned it on, and have refused to shut it down.
You need no introduction to this group if your tastes lie anywhere near the country-folk-bluegrass-cajun-Red Dirt rock-Americana arenas of music. I realize that’s a lot of arenas, but the Turnpike Troubadours cover a lot of ground and shift seamlessly like a salamander. Something tells me if they decided to play hair metal covers from the 80’s they would still be great (probably a little twangy, but great nonetheless), and it starts with the head troubadour, Evan Felker.
To define “troubadour” is to label 1) one of a class of lyric poets and poet-musicians often of knightly rank who flourished from the 11th to the end of the 13th century chiefly in the south of France and whose major theme was courtly love. But also, 2) a singer, especially of folk songs.
Hailing from the small community of Wright City in southeastern Oklahoma (no known affiliation with southern France), the 39 year-old lyrical poet and musician, Evan Felker, and bassist R.C. Edwards started the band a few years before their debut album in 2007. They played the bars and clubs in and around Stillwater and claim Tahlequah, Oklahoma as their place of origin.
I know both Stillwater and Tahlequah, because I lived for five years in Stillwater as a small boy, and then later Tahlequah where I spent two years attending Northeastern State University. I played basketball for the “mighty mighty” NSU Redmen (now “Riverhawks”) and legendary coach Coach Ken Hayes. I floated the Illinois River. I spent time at Granny’s Attic on Muskogee Avenue. I lived in Haskell Hall helping to sling-shot water balloons out the window at unsuspecting students walking to and from class. I traversed the scenic campus on a daily basis and I attended parties at mobile homes in the Cherokee county countryside where friends and classmates lived.
Redmen forever with Coach Ken Hayes last year in Tahlequah
I was late to the Troubadours game so to speak. It was a former co-worker of mine (shoutout Sheldon) who introduced me to them several years ago shortly before they went on “indefinite hiatus.” Rumors abounded from everyone who didn’t know anything, but needless to say, the band was in demand of an overdue break in the action. Many of the members worked side projects, one went back to school, and the introverted Felker worked on himself. Jaded from years of the music business, a failed marriage, and an abuser of alcohol, Felker worked a friend’s ranch in Texas, sobered up, remarried his wife, Staci, and welcomed two children into the world.
“He’s (Felker) like Hemingway-meets-McCartney,” said Shooter Jennings, who helped produce the new album, “A Cat in the Rain,” at the fabled F.A.M.E. Studios in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. An interesting combination of characters indeed for the lead singer of a band many didn’t think would ever play again. This is the sixth studio album and first since their 2017 album “A Long Way From Your Heart.”
“Standing at the ready with a dance or two still left in me. Wager that it won’t appear that I’ve forgot who brought me.”
If you were like me several years ago, and are not familiar with this group, but appreciate catchy hooks and musical artistry woven into a fabric of symbolic lyricism and vivid imagery then I’d encourage you to lend an ear and give them a chance.
From the opening line of the album’s opening song “Mean Old Sun,” where Felker proclaims “Empty promises I’ve given, hollow heart beats in my chest” to this post’s featured song, the album tackles many of mankind’s common themes penned and painted with a southern backdrop as only Felker can do.
The song today is the very melodic “Brought Me.” So if you share this life with someone you love, someone who has been through the highs and lows, someone who takes the worst of you, extends forgiveness, and makes you better, then let this song serve as a reminder of those times, a redemption of sorts, the hope for a better tomorrow, and a thankfulness for the here and now.
A very happy birthday to that person in my life. That person I love, my wife Rebekah.
I still have a lot of dances still left in me!
Here is “Brought Me” by the Turnpike Troubadours (named after those toll roads that took Felker and company from the southeastern part of Oklahoma to “civilization”)
A live version from a performance in August at The Ryman in Nashville…
sincerely, the 80's 